How does one create trust and influence trust? Dina Readinger from Ace Coaching and Diagnostic Thinking interviews Judy Ryan on just how to do this. Judy shares that making trustworthiness a top priority and requirements in their organizations. She reviews the 8 values that build trust so that people can determine how healthy or unhealthy their relationship in a moment in time and what trust behaviors need to be addressed. Dina emphasizes that there are some guidelines that can be put in place to set up an environment that fosters psychological safety and openness. Together they discuss purpose and authenticity and how essential they are for women who wish to lead and live a joyful life as such a leader. Confident women embrace their power and light and put their stake in the ground to be proud of themselves despite the top 6 fears: retaliation, alienation, being ignored, being wrong, rejected, and not taken seriously enough. When women know they are ok and enough, they don’t reside in these 6 fears.
hello everyone welcome this is dina redinger i am with ace coaching company and diagnostic thinking my passion is to help women around the world to accelerate their careers and make sure that they get out of their way and don’t stay stuck getting the results that they deserve and they want today i’ve invited a great friend of mine judy ryan ceo of life work systems she has a heart for service for people around the globe as well and i’d like to invite judy to explain a little bit about herself before we walk into this great topic of trust and how do you create trust on team so judy back to you dina i just every day i’m so grateful for your friendship and i’m really excited to be talking about this topic because for 20 years we’ve been working with organizations of every kind to help people have the right conditions and conversations which many call culture in which they can actually expand into their potential so we help organizations do that across the whole workforce it’s moving into the most progressive most successful companies at this time and one of the main things that we see over and over again is this non-collaboration right there’s a lot of companies in transition right now we see a lot of companies taking on new leadership new restructuring and certainly want to keep this conversation focused on one particular topic today and that’s around trust so i’d like to get your input around you know how do people gain trust within teams i think what’s really important is that people even decide it’s the top priority like in our model it is the foundation of a house and i think that’s number one because some people look at certain things like trust is sort of it’s a nice to have but it’s not a requirement and and then once you do in our world what that looks like is having a set of behaviors that are needed to build trust and so we have eight values that we teach people by the time they’re done working with us on their culture they know them backward and forward because in the mentoring sessions which we do on a regular basis we ask them do you have any relationships that are not a ten and if they say yeah i have at least one or how many they have then they start to look at what are these behaviors am i falling down on in this dynamic and what are the behaviors of trust that this other person is falling down on and just that information it really creates a ton of self-awareness and social awareness and then they’re aware of oh my gosh if these are the broken places what will i do to start creating a change there and so people feel less confused about how do i fix a broken trust issue or even to recognize it is a trust breaking of trust that they’re experiencing and they just don’t know that powerful powerful words you know and i think when when people start to really look at that hard truth right that hard truth and you mentioned it just uh just a minute ago is what am i falling on right and where does trust really start from you know it has to start within yourself right and being able to look internally about that that trust piece and until you commit to that right that’s a hard thing for leaders to do sometimes is being able to look at the the need of trust been able to look internally and talk a little bit judy about your experience around you know what is that that cost of not being able to look at yourself first and creating trust internally for yourself so interesting because there’s a lot of causal effects that we focus on one of them is that when people don’t feel good about who they are because there’s not good trust and they don’t even know why or how to fix it then they go into a state of being where they don’t feel great about anything and they shut down so right there there’s the costs that are associated with disengagement and according to gallup between the radically disengaged which they call actively disengaged and the disengaged it’s around 70 of the people in any given sort of typical workplace and that cost is a combination of of costs from both of those groups is somewhere around at minimum 260 000 for every 100 people and at maximum it’s almost a million dollars because you’re putting at risk the fully engaged people that are around 29 30 percent of the population and in the world so if there’s a very financial big reason to be looking at all that but i would say what’s hard about trust for people everywhere whether it’s in the workplace or anywhere is that we don’t realize that we have to create a dynamic with people where we’re not all about telling them whether they’re wrong and you’re right you know and so when we start finding differences with people we tend to do that and instead we should be practicing four of the eight values which are just being respectful and seeing this person as a separate human being being somebody that’s disclosing but not with it to persuade or change somebody being able to give recognition about the things you value about the other person but also maybe the things that are different that you appreciate and what you can see in the gifts in those also being really truly receptive most of us are listening and saying well yeah but so if we would spend more time there which people think well that’s kind of passive no solutions are being offered in that four behaviors that’s right but you’re also creating that trust in those four behaviors and until you do that you’re not going to be able to influence the other four behaviors of trust right very powerful i want to go back to a couple of things that i heard you say right trust is not finding the right or wrong in situations that’s such a powerful place and i do this a lot with my diagnostic thinking group really small groups of women that come together that find themselves in a situation where they feel themselves as i spoke to feeling a little stuck right and really being able to create that environment of trust and it’s really kind of that code of conduct that we do in the very beginning that talks about withholding judgments it’s trying on the shoes of the other person it’s not persuading somebody to do something and i think you and i talked about this a lot judy which i really appreciate right it’s not trying to fix somebody it’s not trying to heal somebody it’s not trying to change somebody it’s trying to be open and be present for somebody so that you can ask some of these curious questions you know and i think trust and curiosity go hand in hand a lot of times right and unless you’re curious enough not only for yourself but curious enough for others also is a foundation of trust and i want to go back to something that i think is a part of that as well um give me a little insight about empathy it means that we’re willing to go to the place in ourselves that understands that and let it be seen that we get it and i don’t think a lot of people realize that that is a big part of empathy i mean it’s also about being able to take the perspective of other people but it’s not staying outside of their experience it’s moving into their experience with them and so i think a lot of people are afraid if i move into your experience i’m going to be polluted by it or i it means i condone it or something it doesn’t it just means that you’re willing to go down to the level of what’s happening and they feel that presence and it’s healing it’s really healing that way with people and yet most leaders have been taught be invulnerable having all the answers don’t get too personally involved i mean all of those things are now in the process of being dismantled in a lot of organizations because they’re old school and they don’t work and they probably never really work without a lot of really bad consequences it’s so uncomfortable right and it’s true for everyone anytime we have to look at ourselves first it’s very uncomfortable it’s it was uncomfortable through for me throughout my career right but having somebody who cared about me enough to say i’m going to search for some of those answers of ways that i could be a better leader right being able to step into that place that’s a little bit unknown a little bit scary don’t really know if i really want to take that but yet you know what if you don’t give your opportunity to take some of that feedback and being able to you know create something more powerful within yourself is really letting yourself down right it’s taking away from the things that you want the most in the world in your life and in your career your personal life you know it’s very valuable and being okay with that is really kind of that inner piece of what you were kind of talking about and i love what you said right and a lot of my women in diagnostic thinking groups there is a sigh of relief at the end of my two hours that we do every month and everybody says it’s so nice to know that i’m not alone right we’re never alone we’re going together with people but moving into a place where you can experience them is so powerful so thank you judy for for really um stating that and certainly you know one of the questions i wanted to ask you so what should the goal be what should the goal of trust be i think the goal in in my mind of everything related to trust has to do with how do we free people to be who they really are like there’s a lot of beauty in people and a lot of strength and a lot of talent and a lot of giftedness and without trust there’s more investment in being in protection than there is in being in service so the end goal from like the perspective of a business leader would be if you want your bottom line better help people feel safe enough that they are showing up a hundred percent and that they’re glad to be doing that because there’s nobody taking them out on a personal level i don’t think we’re really happy we have we have less joy and we have less of a sense of purpose in the world because we’re being pulled down by untrustworthiness and it’s a huge toll yeah that’s extremely valuable thank you for what you’re saying you know allowing people to be who they are and one of the things that we both share in team optimization right there’s a there’s the top down approach which is great we’ve got to see that the mission and the vision but when you have that bottom up ground swell where you’re you’re hearing people from where they are you’re freeing people to let them be who they are they can show up a hundred percent and i always have a lot of discussions with women leaders and women and leaders all over the world around how can i optimize my team well if you don’t have any trust in me there it’s really going to be hard to get some of that bottom swell coming up because you’re trying to focus on this top-down approach and i see this a lot with mergers and acquisitions right where we get to the point where we’re at closed day and now all of a sudden you need to perform right and we know that those next 90 days you know 90 of companies fail because they can’t get just this one slice right and if you can get some of that baseline trust in place first and know that people are valued for what they bring to the table then you’re no longer babysitting people you don’t have to worry about your numbers or your performance because you’re trusting the team to do it because they trust you as a leader well it frees up the the top executives to focus more of their attention on what’s the next growth strategy for the business instead of feeling like they have to police people or they feel overly burdened because there’s not an equal responsibility for what’s happening so i couldn’t agree with you more that when you trust the authority figures and they trust you and that’s communicated well it’s a whole different kind of company and people always talk about strategic alignment we talk about the alignment of you know the kpis and back to that initial emotional piece if people are not aligned to the capability of creating a safe space where people can speak freely can have those conversations then you’re going to be pushing a truck up the hill for a very long time right and then the truck may just get totally derailed and go off the road so keeping people on that vision of what great looks like is that agreement i think of how we’re going to operate in kind of that communication charter or those communication agreements and making sure that people are valued and hurt when i think about the importance of trusting ourselves in order to build trust when we work with companies on every person defining their purpose values and visions and their goals procedures and roles which is called our blueprint process a lot of times even the higher level management or even the top managers and the employees they really kind of freak out at that because there’s a high level of visibility of who we are and a high willingness to see the nobility in us and to and not feel braggadocious about it and it’s it’s that whole thing of our deepest fear is not that we’re inadequate our deepest fear is that we’re powerful beyond measure and we just had so much pushback in the month that we would bring that because i think putting your stake in the ground for who you are is requires a lot of vulnerability and trust right yeah i think you’re right you know and when i’m you know working with with diagnostic thinking with women all over the world you know there’s some fears that really jumped out and i’ve done as you know i’ve done over 600 diagnostic thinking groups the top six fears that we could if we can get a handle on that and create trust oh my goodness what what power would the company have but it’s fear of retaliation they don’t want to speak up fear of alienation fear of being ignored fear being wrong fear of being rejected and fear of not being taken seriously enough wow those are super powerful because when you when you really look at all of those they all come back down to am i okay am i enough and that takes us back to like a sense of inferiority you know and when we have that we automatically go into internal and external struggles so we don’t really deal with that it might as well just throw in the towel because we’re constantly going to have to be dealing with challenges and struggles that are preventable yes yes while we could help everybody around the world really just really solidify the process of creating trust we would be out of a job judy a couple things that we’ve taken out of this role today is really that trust is a foundation that everybody has to have to feel successful it starts with us first and we have to realize you know that it is our commitment to create trust in knowing that without that we are not going to allow people to feel their greatest and give their best contribution at work and certainly judy i would love to hear your final words as we close out today one of our bylines is bring curiosity and compassion and you can’t lose so if you can just remember that about other people and even about your own failings that in itself is a good practice so hopefully our listeners will take that piece too i love that we’ll certainly know that judy and i’d love for you to message us let us know if this was impactful for you today and we all wish you well and take care and signing off
