“He prayed—it wasn’t my religion. He ate—it wasn’t what I ate. He spoke—it wasn’t my language. He dressed—it wasn’t what I wore. He took my hand—it wasn’t the color of mine. But when he laughed—it was how I laughed, and when he cried—it was how I cried. Underneath we’re all the same,”
Amy Maddox, 16 years old IN High School student
Why It’s Crucial Everyone Wins
While considering various titles for my new radio show on The Transformation Network, I happened to hear a brief interview by US Senator Chris Murphy who had written about the unique stressors on men at this time, including their level of loneliness and their pain over a growing achievement gap. He recently wrote a piece on the reason to care about the plight of men. In it, he said that men are committing suicide at a rate four times higher than women. Ten percent more women are enrolling in college than men, and 70% of drug overdose deaths are by men. At the same time, the Senator also said that women still have less opportunities than men, have less power and position, make lower wages than men, are often the victims of men, all while seeking to grow and rise in agency and equity. He said that while men don’t want to lose, most don’t want to win at the cost of women. The problem is that the vision that everyone can win is often not considered and sought vigorously by men or women. This is because many have supported a reliance on a status quo idea – that the world operates by power-over and power-under and zero-sum dynamics. Hence, as I realized we need a new vision, I chose to name my show When Everyone Wins.
Too often people have not known how to upgrade their thinking and behavior to believe in a right use of power. They have not seen it modeled that power-within can fuel power-between and power-for all to bring about good. Only when we reconfigure how we see, own, celebrate and guide power to ensure everyone wins, will we be able to restore order and peace where there is chaos and division. Because people are not always focused on everyone rising together, there is then a lack of support strategies and collaboration that would be in play if it were present. Together we can cause so much good if only each of us would commit to help everyone in every role to rise rather than invest in fear and limiting beliefs that some must lose when others win or gain power, wealth, or position.
Will You Dream A New Dream With Me?
This all reminded me that I have always wanted everyone to win. I have an equity and inclusion gene! I don’t even like the idea of killing two birds with one stone but rather, would like to feed two birds with one loaf of bread! I also realized that this concept When Everyone Wins is about staying alert to overcoming inequity wherever it is found. In order to do this, we must all start to dream and verbalize what life could be like if everyone wins and if we value collaboration, not competition with each other. Here are some such dreams and questions to ponder:
- Imagine a world in which we could recognize the root causes for unnecessary pain and suffering within and between people. What are those root causes, how do we connect the dots, and what should be done about it?
- Imagine a world in which we put down the notion of superior vs. inferior. What would be happening?
- Imagine if we taught everyone to consider and embrace their power and mindfully choose using it impact those around them. What would happen if we became sensitized to seeing how our choices and use of our power affect others? What new choices might surface? What new realities of win/win would materialize?
- Imagine we started to realize that our most ingrained habits and strongly held beliefs all needed to be undone and replaced in order for everyone to win. What would need to go and what would replace them?
Now is the Time to Create a New Win/Win System
People are in a lot of emotional, social, and financial pain and the evidence is clearer than ever at this time. Many realize that when they focus on their personal power and how to use it effectively from courage and vision, that they are not victims. In order to help everyone win, we must all stop cynicism; believing ideas that raise us all up are too idealistic and impractical. We must stop believing we can’t appeal to business owners, educators, politicians, community leaders or parents to operate from loving purpose, values and visions like ensuring people “love their lives.” People used to say to me, “Business leaders don’t care if their people love their lives.” I don’t believe this is true. They may not have considered the importance of everyone winning in this way but it is not from a lack of care. The time has come for leaders to pursue the conditions and conversations that develop the holistic wellbeing and happiness of those they lead, and the emotional and social health of their workplace cultures, so they learn how to help everyone live from purpose and values. The world must recognize the need to evolve to one in which everyone wins. That time is now. If this calls to you and lifts your heart, let me know. I’m here to help.
This article is published in the column The Extraordinary Workplace in St. Louis Small Business Monthly, December, 2024
